My Healing Journey - A Summary
Last October I made a switch in my career. What I did not know then, is how that decision would completely change my life. Since then I’ve been through hell and back.
In October, I went to an event of a trauma-informed manifestation coach. On this event the coach pitched her coaching program to learn her method. Her method involves parts work (IFS), body work, breath work, and more.
I felt like this was my calling. After already many years of personal development I felt I could make a better impact in the world with coaching than with being an IT freelancer. One reason that made me decide on this program was because it was designed to become your own unique coach and not an exact copy of the person teaching the method.
This picture of me was taken at the beginning of this healing journey
Relationships And Shadow Work
I joined the program and not long after, I also got into a relationship. The universe conspired for us to be together. There were so many synchronicities happening and the way things developed, caused us to travel together just after one week of being together. You can imagine how intense that suddenly is when you barely know each other.
And what I did not know, was how many shadow work I had to do.
The beauty of relationships is that they mirror us and shine light on the unconscious parts in us. And there were a lot of parts I wasn’t conscious about!
The beauty of relationships is that they mirror us and shine light on the unconscious parts in us.
This period was overwhelming to say the least. I had said goodbye to a steady stream of income to focus on the coaching, I was in a foreign country, I was in a relationship where we were 24/7 together, and there was no escape from all the issues that would come up in the relationship and at the same time I was trying to work on what came up on my side of the relationship to see if the relationship would hold.
From the beginning of our relationship, I went on a deep healing journey wherein I went all in! And this deep connection between us and the inability to have a happy healthy romantic relationship together fueled the process even more!
This picture of me was taken 5 months later in the healing journey
The Benefit Of Doing Shadow Work
The benefit of it all is that I was able to apply all the methods from the coaching program onto myself. To regulate my nervous system, to heal the father wound, the mother wound, several traumas, sexual traumas even, and to heal the inner child.
In doing so I have also become better in touch with my body, my heart, my emotions, I have become better in communication, better in setting boundaries, and more resilient overall.
I feel more self-love, self-worth, and self-respect and I have learned a lot about relationships and masculine and feminine polarity. As well as wounded masculine and wounded feminine.
I feel I have grown 16 years in 5 months.
Our parents are the first example of how men and women relate to each other
It became apparent to me early in the journey how our upbringing directly translates to how we hold our relationships. Of which our parents are the first example of how men and women relate to each other.
I wish it would not have been necessary. Nonetheless, I’m immensely grateful for this woman, for this journey and for the path it has put me on. And it has defined my mission: To coach men who seek to transcend their pain, to become their authentic selves, to be able to engage with hardships with fortitude and fervor, so we can build a world wherein women are safe and children grow up with healthy masculine and feminine role models.
Jos Tijhuis
What would the world look like if all men were connected with their heart, their light and dark masculine, their emotions, and their mission which they would pursue with fierceness and fervor to protect and provide for their loved ones?
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